Stay Out of the Van
Last week, a convoluted set of circumstances led to my son asking me that fateful question: “Mom, who is Hannibal Lecter?” I knew better than to give him the whole story. I’ve learned the hard way that...
View ArticleTV Dad Round-Up! Part 1
If it can be said that everyone has a mission in life, or if not a mission then at least a badly repressed core neurosis, then Louis C.K.’s purpose as a T.V. dad is to expose the wonderful,...
View ArticleThe Fairy Tale of the Exploding Shark
I live in California, and my family’s condo is about a mile from the beach. When my son was a baby, he really hated the feeling of sand being stuck to his feet, so going to the beach meant a lot of...
View ArticleA Real Mother For You
Becoming a mother was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done, but it would have been a little easier if Hollywood had given me better role models. Unfortunately, I’m not totally kidding when...
View ArticleI Have Room Here In My Handbasket
The other morning I walked in on Jackson watching this: Me: “WHAT IN HELL ARE YOU WATCHING?” Jackson: “South Park.” Me: “WHO SAID YOU COULD WATCH SOUTH PARK?” Jackson: “Dad.” Me: “OH MY GOD TURN IT...
View ArticleBut where will my ceramic phrenology head go?
I’ve got to figure out how to make room for a new computer in my house. A computer to watch movies on. A computer with a big, flat screen that will stream Netflix like a champ. I’m pretty sure that...
View ArticleIt gets worse before it gets better
The evolution from office to media nook continues! Unfortunately, this is less of a cozy home makeover show and more of a sad exposé of my inability to find a place to put old bank statements. What...
View ArticleInstant Indispensability
Well, it turns out that I was able to successfully metabolize a computer into our lives. I mean — oh, hell, what’s the word? Manifest! I have manifested my destiny, and it’s a touchscreen computer...
View ArticleBut What About The Wee?
Yesterday I finally got a chance to play with the Inspiron unimpeded by the directions of a ten-year-old boy. The computer comes pre-loaded with a few different music choices, so I put on a little...
View ArticleBoo! I hate scary movies.
The other day Jackson asked me, “Why do people even make scary movies?” Whenever we go to the movies he has to stand outside the theater and wait until the previews are over and I can give him the...
View ArticleDid He Need to See That?
It used to be so easy to decide which movies to take Jackson to. When he was two years old the obvious choice was Finding Nemo. When he was three we had a John Ritter memorial viewing of Clifford’s...
View ArticleLet’s All Decide Who Should Host the Oscars!
Now that Eddie Murphy‘s bowed out of the hosting gig — and I’m kind of not sure why he followed Brett Ratner out the door, but I’m going to assume that the experience of making Tower Heist together...
View ArticleHoliday Kids’ Films a Grownup Can Look Forward To, I Hope
Some of us anticipate long winter vacation days filled with snowmen, gingersnaps, and Rankin-Bass holiday specials. Me, I look through the local movie showtimes and wonder if it’s worth bundling...
View ArticleHow many movies could there possibly be about shopping?
I’m going to cope with Black Friday the year by watching movies about shopping, rather than going out and being trampled at Best Buy. I have nothing against Best Buy, actually, it is a fine...
View Article10 Films that Might Help Your Kid Be a Better Person
Here come the holidays, and with them some moral dilemmas. I tell my son how gratifying it is to be generous and unselfish, and I try to model these qualities as best I can, but every year his wishlist...
View ArticleSolitary or Social?
This post is part of the Dell Family Tech series. I may be the only one who has this problem, because it’s kind of a weird one, but I trust you so I’m going to just lay it out there. I can’t watch a...
View ArticleHave Yourself a PG Little Christmas
This post is part of the Dell Family Tech series. Read on to find out how you might win a new Dell Inspiron touch-screen computer. We are not a church-going family, so our taste in Christmas movies...
View ArticleLouis Takes Control
This post is part of the Dell Family Tech series, read on and you may win a Dell Inspiron touch-screen computer for $0. By now you’ve probably heard about Louis CK’s self-produced special, shot live at...
View ArticleThe Wordy Chipmates
Although I did come close to falling asleep somewhere during the third act of Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, I fought off unconsciousness out of respect for my date. Not that he had been...
View ArticleMission Not Implausible!
First things first: Mission Impossible, uh, 4, is that what we’re on? The new one. It’s GREAT. Brad Bird, who directed two of my favorite animated films of the last decade, The Incredibles and Iron...
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